'Tis the Season

I'm increasingly tiring of my lack of landing a job after a year of being unemployed. I've sent so many resumes and applications out that half the time I don't even remember what I applied for. It seems that I am not qualified for anything...I mean, I couldn't even land a job at Dunkin' Donuts. Now, that would make anyone feel like an utter failure, but I digress, I am looking and I am trying to remain positive.

Sam and I seem to fight all the time. I usually am the one that flips out over the tiniest things. I feel like either one of us is always getting frustrated. I usually blame the stress that I feel financially to my attitude. I know, it's not right. Lately I've become jealous to the point where any time she talks with or hangs out with another girl I get suspicious. Just tonight she went on break with a co-worker and I accused her of ulterior motives. I mean really? She just went on break with someone! There has definitely been a lack of companionship between us. When Sam gets home from work I'm usually in bed and she stays in the living room watching tv, playing on the computer or playing wii. I just wish that for once she could come to bed and we could snuggle and just talk. I miss just laying and talking.

This Christmas is going to suck this year. I can't afford to get anyone anything for Christmas. I always try and get my immediate family at least something even if it's small. Not this year. I don't even have enough money to bake for my family. When I struggle like this I tend to forget the true meaning and spirit of the holidays. I hope that I can snap out of this funk soon so that I can remember and enjoy the time with family and friends.

Speaking of friends. I feel as though Sam and I don't have many. I feel like we always try to do things and invite our friends and yet most of them just blow us off. My favorite excuse is, "oh I have to work late." That's funny. Just the other day you told me that you had that day off. We have all these fair weather friends or people that will hang out with us when it's convenient for them. When we decline we're met with huffs and puffs about how we never do anything and people are always asking us to do stuff. Just once I want people to stick with what they say they are going to do. Stop friggin' blowing me off! You don't want to hang with me? Just say so. Don't leave me hanging.

Okay. I feel better now that I've vented. I need a good stiff drink.